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Unregistered | | post 1 of 12 | | posted: Oct 14th 2007 |
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They say that sometimes, when the moon is right and the wolves are howling in the hills, if you are lucky and you have earned their trust, some old-timer might beckon to you with a single scrawny finger crooked like a gnarled tree-limb to walk a ways with him. Perhaps he'll silently pass you a jug of the good moonshine they keep in the hollers just for special occasions. "Walk a ways with me, son," he'll croak. And if you are lucky and the timing is right and you don't press him too hard, then maybe, just maybe, you'll hear the legend of Kelly "Beef-a-roni" Clarkson and her secret shower drain.
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TROOF
Unregistered | | post 2 of 12 | | posted: Oct 14th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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If Kelly Clarkson plops her fat ass down on your toilet…
You better get the plunger ready.
She BEEFS.
She’ll drop 5 or 6 forearm-sized logs in there with no flushes in between. Rumor has it that on the set of “From Justin to Kelly” she used to shit in the shower and heel it down the drain. |
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Ariadne
Gary Oldman
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posts: 5040
date registered: 01/26/07
|  | | post 3 of 12 | | posted: Oct 14th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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I know this is an old troll, but it still cracks me up.
Thanks to whoever posted it. |
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TVs_Frank
Wynnona Ryder
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posts: 1367
date registered: 01/26/07
|  | | post 4 of 12 | | posted: Oct 14th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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Ariadne wrote:
I know this is an old troll, but it still cracks me up.
Thanks to whoever posted it.
Trolls: Building bridges to break since '91.
(don't ask why I am awake) |
I can’t seem to face up to the facts.
I’m tense and nervous and I... can’t relax.
I can’t sleep, cause my bed’s on fire.
Don’t touch me I’m a real live wire.
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Ariadne
Gary Oldman
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posts: 5040
date registered: 01/26/07
| | | post 5 of 12 | | posted: Oct 14th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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TVs_Frank wrote:
Trolls: Building bridges to break since '91.
(don't ask why I am awake)
I'm up with the kitties. |
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TVs_Frank
Wynnona Ryder
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posts: 1367
date registered: 01/26/07
| | | post 6 of 12 | | posted: Oct 14th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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Ariadne wrote:
I'm up with the kitties.
Are they being menaces and general miscreants? |
I can’t seem to face up to the facts.
I’m tense and nervous and I... can’t relax.
I can’t sleep, cause my bed’s on fire.
Don’t touch me I’m a real live wire.
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Ariadne
Gary Oldman
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posts: 5040
date registered: 01/26/07
| | | post 7 of 12 | | posted: Oct 15th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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TVs_Frank wrote:
Are they being menaces and general miscreants?
No, they just want food. |
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TVs_Frank
Wynnona Ryder
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posts: 1367
date registered: 01/26/07
| | | post 8 of 12 | | posted: Oct 15th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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Ariadne wrote:
No, they just want food.
Do they realize you don't lactate? |
I can’t seem to face up to the facts.
I’m tense and nervous and I... can’t relax.
I can’t sleep, cause my bed’s on fire.
Don’t touch me I’m a real live wire.
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Stinky
Gary Oldman
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posts: 3701
date registered: 01/26/07
|  | | post 9 of 12 | | posted: Oct 16th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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| I always thought Kelly Clarkson was just a banshee. |
We can choose to be true to our self and risk the ridicule of others, or to be false and risk losing our self.
A bad mistake becomes a good lesson, if you learn from it |
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Ariadne
Gary Oldman
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posts: 5040
date registered: 01/26/07
| | | post 10 of 12 | | posted: Oct 16th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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TVs_Frank wrote:
Do they realize you don't lactate?
**laughing**
It's not me they want to nurse. |
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Ariadne
Gary Oldman
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posts: 5040
date registered: 01/26/07
| | | post 11 of 12 | | posted: Oct 16th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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Jacob wrote:
I always thought Kelly Clarkson was just a banshee.
In what way? |
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Stinky
Gary Oldman
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posts: 3701
date registered: 01/26/07
| | | post 12 of 12 | | posted: Oct 17th 2007 |
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| Re: They say some old-timers still tell tales of Kelly "Tarheel" Clarkson |
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Ariadne wrote:
In what way?
Have you heard her? |
We can choose to be true to our self and risk the ridicule of others, or to be false and risk losing our self.
A bad mistake becomes a good lesson, if you learn from it |
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