03-02-2010
Why is it always a bad joke on a plate, of the "tee hee" variety? Innovative and original cuisine, going by Anthony Bourdain's standards, appears to be a menu consisting of...
1. foam
2. cotton candy
3. chips
4. spheres
5. something (not an egg) made to look like an egg
6. something made with liquid nitrogen
It's like there's some list that needs ticking off when creating "modern!" "daring!" fearless!" "bold!" "cutting-edge!" cuisine.
You could call it "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly," replacing "Good" with that thing pretending to be the opposite of what it tastes like--a flavor "from your childhood--tee hee!" Hey assholes, Cadbury wants their Egg back.
You know what?
If I want Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans for dinner, I'll go knock on Jeffrey Jones's door. And if I want something that tastes like cherry pie, pot roast, or mango ice cream, I'll have cherry pie, pot roast, or mango ice cream.
To an extent, I get it. It's fun, it's weird, it's entertaining... but is it worth all the fuss?
And is it really all that innovative...
I haven't tried any of this (don't have the bucks for this bullshit) but to me, it just looks like... well, spheres, foam, and cotton candy, made to taste like fish, fruit, and stinky cheese.
How many times are you gonna' let the jack-in-the-box finish in your mouth before, "Wow! This gelatinous goo tastes like anchovies!" becomes, "Well, that was interesting."
In the words of Violet Beauregarde, "By gum, it's gum."
Every Wonka Wannabe will tell you it's a three-course meal, but it's still just gum.
Watch Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations, in Spain and Brittany.
