Danni has a breakdown attempting to review The Matrix: Reloaded
We at the Alliance sincerely hope he quickly recovers from his ordeal and is able to continue to amuse us with his charming perspective.

Helen comes across Eyes Wide Shut on HBO
Or something like that. We're actually a bit uncertain as to how long this one's been on Helen's shelf.

Helen discovers new punching bag called 'Jackie Chan'
I am *not* going to see *anything* with that ding-dong-wack-job Jackie Chan.

A review of Y Tu Mama Tambien (and your mother, too) by money
Props to Alfonso and his brother for giving us something a little different from what we'd expect.

Being a review of Adaptation by Merryweather Jones
The passage home from the cinema felt a bit longer and more formidable than usual.

Strange Marks
Dinner with Fernandez, Breakfast with Lance

Oni "The Man" Williams
Danni's own personal bum experiances the drama of the ER.

Danni and Vivian visit a San Francisco Thai House
"Give up, Lee! You can't win against ancient Thai cusine! Unless you hold wish-fulfilling pearl in you left hand."

Terrance Stamp or Malcolm McDowell; which to choose when both are foul?
This manages to have something to do with the Jonathan Frakes bomb, Thunderbirds.

It's not a Tuk Tuk, Sweet. It's an Auto-Rikshaw.
I'm not being haughty about these little vehicles. Motorised, yes. A definite improvement over the manual-operation Rikshaws of Asia's yesterday. But we're still talking about the third world. How can I be haughty about that?

The real Dead Zone
A good part of the universe contained within a sad Anthony Michael Hall moment.

Understanding the aftermath of Van Helsing and Catwoman before the aftermath
Please don't misunderstand me: I'm for the success of Hugh Jackman and Halle Berry; their prominent feature on our respected news header graphic was not ironic. (although they have recently been replaced with Nicholas Tse and Stephen Fung).

The closest Merryweather comes to a review of Cat in the Hat
Grazer let the ugly out of the bag.

What to do if you are suddenly approached by Jean Claude Van Damme
First, stay calm...

Astin needs containment
Some little men on a little island with big ideas.

The Bumblebee Flies Anyway
Ok, we've all seen this one (sitting on the shelf at the video store).

DVD Review: Merryweather sees Better Luck Tomorrow
I left the theatre asking myself, "Do I look that bad?" If your film functions this way, it isn't good.

Danni reviews LXG on DVD
Just when Connery was congratulating himself on having narrowly escaped the disaster of Highlander: End Game, he delves into something potentially far more embarrassing.

Death Watch: Mario Batali
[Ciao America] is a show I would (and do) watch to become informed about Italian food and where to find it in America; not the slow death of a red, bloated food addict.

Oliver Twist adaptation: A great helping of Roman Polanski, with a side of Ben Kingsley.
Particularly, I'm in disagreement with the convivial treatment [by previous adaptations] of what I found to be (upon reading the book) a very terrifying yarn. Let's hope Polanski sees things our way. (Kingsley's and mine)