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on 02-01-2009
Happy New Year
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posted by TVs_Frank
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on 31-12-2008
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pumpkin! you
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on 29-12-2008
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Merry Christmas
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WE WANT TO SEE YOU TRY HARDER, SAM ROCKWELL

Speaking of Lauren Holly

If I were the lesbian version of Sam Rockwell (and wasn't a pill popping, cumgargling, gum chewing opie) I'd lick all that hot greasy make up off those big bubble tits of hers, and hit that shit like the super-sized bumper of a Chevy Nova blasting ghetto rock at three in the morning in the parking lot of a Wendys. What were those, Bs at one point? Do they come with a pump? Are they filled with diseased knee fluid? Yikes.

The thing is, I feel sorry for Sam Rockwell.

He's one of those character actors who bobs up in ensemble pieces, or HBO skin flicks, and occasionally gets a bone thrown his way from the likes of Drew Barrymore and George Clooney. But since Barrymore and Clooney are talentless attention whores, mooning over an actor whose skill they can never truly appreciate because they lack the perspective to wholly grasp the level of diffictly involved, their patronage only serves to extend his little-known moniker to mainstream movie-goers like a juicy steak covered in shit juice, on a Lord of the Rings Series One Collectors Plate, with gold leaf trim extracted from one of MC Hammer's smelted toilet seats.

Barrymore can't act, Clooney can't direct (or act). It's like asking Angelina Jolie to take off the strap-on and have a real orgasm. Tabloids love these ditzy, jowelly, bobble-headed, Old Hollywood wannabes, but they bomb at the box office. Leatherheads? Stop it, George. Just stop it. You can't direct--you really, really can't.

Clark Gregg is not David Fincher. Coke (2008) won't do for Rockwell whatever Fight Club (1999) did for Ed Norton (not much).

Why couldn't some real director, with clout, have taken Rockwell under their wing? Like hot tub honey-dipper Roman Polanski and his leading man, Adrien Brody, in The Pianist (2002). Similar level of talent, look, age, and body type. Is Brody just trying harder? I mean, Rockwell's like.... FIFTY now. Or something like that. Anyway, he's old. Not Harrison Ford old, mind you, but OLD... old. Is he just lazy or something? Did he piss off the wrong casting agent?

Maybe he's like William H. Macy, who gives great performances, but can't figure out how to work the tv remote; like Guy Pearce in Memento (2000), only his tattoos say things like, "Don't eat the sticker on the fruit" and "Your SSN is..."

In conclusion:

WE WANT TO SEE YOU TRY HARDER, SAM ROCKWELL

Stop being a lazy bastard. - danni

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This is happening RIGHT NOW
I'm making a sandwich with cheese.....
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cheese...... well, just cheese.

But it's a very special milk-based, semi-hard, food-type cheese, of the...
15 comments by Danni Puff
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Whitaker and Zellwegger News
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UPDATE: Shia LaBeouf's hand injury incorporated into Transformers script
An injury LaBeouf received July 27, in an automobile accident in LA, will be worked into the film in order to protect the actor on set.
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learn more about this site!
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Danni and Oni at Dragon*con
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The Road to The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
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There's this guy who wants to fight me. He thinks I'm homosexual, and a dude. He wants to fly to where I am, meet in...
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Understanding Under Siege 2: Dark Territory
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Shia LaBeouf Arrested for DUI, holds up filming on Transformers sequel
Dam you, Michael Bay.
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Shia LaBeouf, who was arrested on suspicion of drunk-driving after his car hit a truck and flipped across the road...
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4 comments by danni
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I was reading a piece with Jesse Siminski (a.k.a. Heartthrob) in Interview today, which tied up like this:

8 comments by Danni Puff
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